My Hard Learned Remedies For Insomnia
After years of sleepless nights, I’ve put together a Sleep Tool Kit that works
Getting a good night’s sleep requires that I put away, for a few hours, news of the world’s continuing descent into madness: Trump, Isreal, Gaza, West Bank, Ukraine, Congo, and much more. And then there are the personal ghosts: Things undone that now can never be done. Things done that can never be undone.
And there is the tinnitus ringing nonstop in my ears — a legacy of working and sleeping near diesel machinery on steel tug boats in my youth. Sometimes, it seems as loud as fire alarms.
And there is the physical discomfort of my body’s scars earned from a lifetime of adventure.
Once asleep, my chronic dry eye affliction will wake me up several times a night and stir me to find the eye drops in the tray on the nightstand. Then I must try to get back to sleep again. And again later. And then again.
And I have found a way to make that happen. And if I can get a good night’s sleep through all this, I can show you how to do it, too.
But before we get into the Sleep Toolkit, let’s examine the so-called “sleep hygiene” many may have already heard a something about.
Sleep hygiene — is it worthwhile?
1. Limit alcohol. Generally a good idea. Although alcohol may help you fall asleep, the rebound effect, as the body rushes to replace lost glutamine, is well known to cause wakefulness later in the night. I am a moderate imbiber. Never before 6 pm and never after I have finished dinner.
2. No coffee past 2 pm. It’s a good guideline for most people, although I know some who can have a cup right before bed and sleep like babies. Before discovering the Toolkit, sometimes, I would find myself wide awake at 3 am, get up, drink a cup or two with a snack, and return to bed. And sleep. I’m ADHD, and stimulants affect us differently, but this should not be a preferred night-time routine for anyone. Nowadays, I have four single-shot Americanos between 5 am and noon and stop there unless I’m going to the mountains or climbing crags for a day and need an extra afternoon boost of caffeine from a bottle.
Coffee has been shown to have many health benefits if used at the right time of day and in the right amounts. Interestingly, the first recorded use of coffee was by Sufi mystics as an aid to meditation.
3. Limit blue light before bedtime. This is helpful to enhance the body’s circadian cycle. I don’t look at my phone at home. Yes, really. Unless I use it to talk to someone. I do use my laptop, which has an app to dampen blue light in the evening.
4. Use the bedroom only for sleep or sex? I find this often-repeated Pavlovian-style idea somewhat silly. Our bedroom is the brightest, most cheerful room in the house, with a view over uninhabited forest and mountains. Why would I limit the use of that space to the mostly dark hours? I’m propped up on cushions behind my back sitting on the bed while typing this. A chronic back injury prevents me from sitting comfortably in a chair for very long, so this is often where I come to read and write. I’m no potato, though. You can read my other articles on exercise and nutrition elsewhere on Medium.
Once you have set up your bedroom following the Toolkit, it will be completely dark, so you won’t have to worry about visual distractions.
5. Try to keep the bedroom cool. I support this one. My wife and I have a window opening and the heat turned off in the bedroom at night during all seasons — in Canada. Cover up and cuddle up.
6. Stick to a bedtime routine. I think this becomes more important as you get older. In my youth, I used to be able to greet the dawn and then crash. Or even skip a whole sleep cycle and keep going. Not now. I’m programmed to, and I enjoy, getting up early. I look forward to that 5 am first shot from the espresso machine even as I go to bed. So, I do it early. I have no need for an alarm.
The Sleep Toolkit
Blackout curtains or blinds
Light pollution plagues our cities and suburbs. Even though I live on the forest’s edge, a nearby streetlight will filter through regular curtains. We were not designed to sleep with artificial light. It shuts down our bodies’ melatonin production, which not only inhibits sleep, but research has shown that melatonin is one of the body’s most essential agents in defending against cancer, inflammation, heart disease, diabetes, and other ailments. Your bedroom should be pitch dark. An eye cover or night mask will help while you get your room ready, but that remedy will likely be uncomfortably warm in the summer.
Use a red light if you get up and need to see during the night
If you have made your bedroom properly dark now, you may need some light to help you get to the bathroom at night. The red spectrum is a safe light that won’t disturb your body’s melatonin production. An Australian company specializes in red light products such as nightlights and flashlights. You can view their mail-order catologue here.
Take magnesium shortly before bedtime
Although I don’t take a lot of supplements because I don’t believe they can replace real food, this one is an important part of my Sleep Toolkit. Since magnesium binds with calcium, you might consider taking a calcium supplement in the daytime to balance.
After lying down, make sure all muscles are relaxed
The most important is the jaw. Until you get the hang, it’s a good idea to do a check starting at the toes and systematically working up, or you can do it the other way — beginning at the scalp.
Practice breath control
Avoid short, shallow breaths. I do a variation of box breathing but don’t do the holds as long. Take a moderately deep breath in. Hold for a couple of seconds. Slow breath back out. Pause briefly. Repeat. Invariably, when I start this exercise, I think, I’m not sleepy; it’s not working. It’s not going to work this time. Then I wake up a few hours later. Oh, it worked. Then I start over. Oh, it’s not working this….bonk.
This works amazingly if you maintain the breath rhythm and the brief pauses. Don’t forget to check the jaw.
Try to avoid rumination
A focus on the breathing will help with this. I promise.
Practice a daily meditation session
If you are familiar with a meditation practice, you can skip this explanation. Or critique it. I’m not a meditation teacher, but I started trying it when I was 14 after finding a book on yoga. I have done it off and on in the 60 years, and ten trips to India, since. Recently, I had an experience that affirmed for me mediation’s transformative power. I do it every day now. I’ll explain some simple starting points.
Sit in a chair, on a bed, or cross-legged on cushions. I loved sitting cross-legged because it was best for my back. But as I got older, it began causing inflammation in my knees. So, I had to adapt. Any kind of sitting works — but keep your spine straight. Don’t do this lying down — taking a nap, or a yoga nidra session, although beneficial, are different practices.
Close your eyes. Focus on your breath. Take moderately deep, slow breaths. You can use the classic So Hum mantra (I am that) if you wish. Mentaly chant So for breath in, Hum for breath out. Try to keep your attention on the breath. When thoughts come, let them go. When you find yourself in the middle of a chain of thoughts, get back to your breath.
How long should a session be? My late mother-in-law, who was a Buddhist nun, would sit in meditation for up to six months at a time, only pausing for meal prep and bathroom — not even lying down to sleep. Twenty minutes or so usually works for me. It’s okay to start with five or ten.
Learning to calm and focus your mind is like taming a wild stallion. One summer in my youth, I regularly rode a beautiful palomino stallion named Pal. He always wanted to run. Sometimes, I would let him, and then felt like I was one with the animal. But mostly, I had to rein him in to prevent him from exhausting himself. Once a day — always when I was least expecting it — he would try to buck me off. He never did. Your mind is like that. It will run in its wild ruminations and sometimes throw you into dark despair — until you learn to tame it. Just sitting quietly and listening, really listening, is the mind whisperer.
Putting all this together takes a bit of effort. But it works. Try it.